It’s probably how it is supposed to be. I think about it and I cry. Hay, talk about crying while riding the train. I almost did want to laugh really loud after realizing how pathetic I looked. But I just let myself be. I let myself be human. I let myself be the girl stuck in the mud and everybody was just looking. I have gone tired of asking myself if there’s something I could get from this or if this meant that I am deemed to be alone.
aaminin kong hindi simple ang buhay ko. nasanay ako sa madaming bagay na maaaring hindi maintindihan ng mga tao. lumaki ako na hindi inisip kung ano talaga gusto ko. nag-iisa akong anak na babae at ang kapatid ko nag iisang anak na lalaki. aaminin kong madami akong hindi alam na alam ng iba. madami pa kong bagay na hindi nagagawa. pero mayroon din palang makakaunawa. hindi ko inasahan na kaya ko pala. ang sumuway sa utos ng magulang, gumawa ng liham ng pagmamahal. at ang umiyak para sa taong espesyal. hindi ko inisip na magagawa ko ang mga bagay na ito. madaming bagay sa nakaraang mga araw na ni hindi sumagi sa isip ko. nagawa ko lahat. masaya ako. ngayon batid ko na. na sa kabila ng lahat. kaya ko pala. para sa isang tao. para sa meyng na nagpapasaya sakin. para sa taong nagpapatibok ng puso ko. M, para sayo. para lang sayo
CAT Idol yeah! My officemates heard my “prisoner” song and they couldn’t believe that it was me who was singing. I just found it amusing that after how many times we had videoke sessions ‘til morning they still didn’t recognize my voice. Must be the recording, or the echo, or the song. I had fun listening to the other contestants’ recording as well. The first week’s genre is “bakya” or novelty songs. The following weeks would be RnB, OPM and broadway.
I really hope we could raise more than what we’re targeting.
Friday, yey! I wonder how my weekend would be like. I’m excited. Nah, scratch that, I’m hopeful. I hope that I get to spend the weekend the best way I could. Get enough rest and still have time to catch up on some people.
Oh, I almost forgot, I was invited to my friend’s 40 days. It has been 40 days since Ey left. I wonder how she’s doing wherever she is now. Has she seen God? Does she remember who she is or who we are? Questions, all I have are questions for her. I also wonder what if she’s till here. What would she say about what I have become? She would probably, well, I don’t know. I miss Ey and that’s just it.
Week end. It’s just an arms reach. I plan to spend my Sunday with mom. That is, if she ain’t got nothing planned then. My dad, I’m still planning on going to Pampanga to visit him. I thought we’ see each other on Monday but probably he had other plans. I wonder how he’s doing. The only time I get to have news about him is when my cousins and I chat over ym. I know my dad is well. I’m praying that he’s well.
everyday I seem to lose you more… it almost feels like i failed but it ain’t over yet…
Being able to make other people happy is one of the best things. I feel good that I am able to do that to people I care for and love. It’s even a plus hearing them that I made them feel better. I love it.
M : Best kisser ever.
E : You like to drink.
Y : Best bf/gf anyone could ask for.
N : Best bf/gf anyone could ask for
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
A : You like to drink.
B : You like people.
C : You are really silly.
D : You like to drink.
E : You like to drink.
F : You are dead sexy.
G : You never let people tell you what to do.
H : You have a very good personality and good looks.
I : Easy to be with
J : People Adore you.
K : You’re wild and crazy.
L : Everyone loves you.
M : Best kisser ever.
N : Best bf/gf anyone could ask for.
O : Easy to fall in love with.
P : You are popular with all types of people.
Q : You are a hypocrite.
R : You’re loyal to those you love.
S : Fuckin` crazy.
T : awesome kisser.
U : You really like to chill.
V : Awesome in bed
W : You are very broad minded.
X : You love sports.
Y : Best bf/gf anyone could ask for.
Z : Always read
I’m unbelievably early today. Woohoo! 8:15am I was already in my cluttered workstation. It was just now that I noticed that I have empty bottles, tin cans, paper bag full of papers, mug, pen, scratch pad. Hayay!
We had our recording for the CAT Idol last night. I t was fun. My brother and I were both contestants. This was the first time that the project will be holding a talent contest as a fund raising activity for the Barobaybay School in Samar. Can’t wait to hear our voices. I hope we could get enough money to pledge for the organization.
And now, one of the things that I fear happened. I grew tired. And things are still uncertain.
Things may not have turned out as we want it to be. But it is good that we still have each other. You’re still my dad. Happy Father’s day!
I’m a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
See I’m a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake
But why all this hate? try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make
This is a happy end
Cause you don’t understand
Everything you have done
Why’s everything so wrong
This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I’ll take you far away
I’m a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake
In this very strange world…
Every possible mistake
Possible mistake
Every possible mistake
Mistakes, mistakes, mistakes…
With my eyes closed, I follow…
I did not intend to be like this…
Blind, restless and blank…
I crave to drown in your arms…
Numb every time you take a trip in space…
Forgive me for my weakness…
I did not intend to be like this…
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